Is Modest Hottest?

August 10, 2017


Let me go ahead and spoiler alert, here. Whether modest is hottest is not something about which I’m actually going to debate. Whatever the hell I want to wear, be it “modest,” whatever that means as per your culture and chronology, or not, is not subject to a ratings system by a bunch of pharisaical, undisciplined, self-righteous men. I don’t care if you think modest is hottest. I do not want you to “guard my purity,” a thinly veiled attempt to shame me for looking like a woman in public. I don’t want to be hott or not hott in your eyes.

I am a human person with innate dignity, worthy of respect, a value which goes is far deeper beyond the superficial judgement of my clothing.


The whole concept of modesty seems it cannot be separated from pleasing the eyes of men. This is so perverted with which to begin. You have heard it said “leave a little to the imagination.” Why? So I can titilate you with my purity and mystery? I am not a pleasure item to be consumed by men. I do not exist to serve aesthetic pleasure. I am not dressing with placating men or others in mind. I am dressing with MY dignity in mind, my self respect which IS charity toward others.

Can we not see that these slogans #ModestIsHottest and #LeaveALittleToTheImagination are both reinforcing the erroneous idea, that women exist to please the eye of men? That’s all this modest or not is about right now. It’s certainly not about helping men avoid lust. If it were, would Modest Is Hottest even make sense?


You’re telling me that you are advocating a type or standard of clothing that is “hottest,” a colloquialism for sexy or wildly attractive? How is that at all focused on preserving a woman’s dignity? How is that about charity toward men, if the very act of modesty is apparently making women even more irresistable, more easily objectified?

As per usual, the women blaming and shaming debate on clothing and modesty has little to do with virtue, chastity, or dignity, and it has everything to do with lording over, controlling, and subjugating women. Where are the admonisions imploring upright men to discipline their own gaze and minds or to avoid pools if that is their cross? No where. It’s not about chastity. It’s about shouldering women with the lion’s share of the guilt and shaming them into accepting it. Deep down, it must also be about avoiding being truthful to themselves. If they focus on it being someone else’s fault, they do not have to indict themselves, they are not at fault.

Will I be dressing modestly? I will be dressing to reveal my dignity and my value as a human being. Will I leave anything to the imagination? Only someone who looks upon me as an object would allocate me as visually mysterious or not. I do not dress for these disgusting and perverted men. I dress for me, for my dignity, as an example for my daughters, and knowing that I am equal to men (See the Catechism), in intellect and value.

What will I wear? Whatever the *#$% I damn well please, and if it doesn’t trip your trigger, I will be one happy woman.


Are you condemning evil or contributing to it?


We MUST speak out against clear evil. We always must, even if it upsets people and even when no one wants to hear it; however, we must resist another related evil.
We must resist the evil that is seeing ourselves as holy and upright because we boldly and bravely condemn evil.

We must not fall prey to the temptation to be cruel and malign other sinners simply because we are not guilty of the sin they commit. We must not give in to the temptation to purposefully be offensive because we believe anti-political correctness a virtue. Rudeness is not of God. His followers are meek and kind, full of grace.

Do not accept the truth in such a way that it allows Satan to sit between your heart and the truth, distorting the message turning you bitter, hateful, and arrogant. Satan doesn’t fear you having the truth. He fears you disseminating it with charity and compassion, for who would be turned from that truth?

Yes, we must have compassion. Compassion is not “being nice” or “not being offensive” but to suffer with someone. It is co-suffering. You cannot suffer with someone whom you do not know or with whom you have not spent any time. You cannot co-suffer with someone whom you are busy wounding.

The Pharisee did not mistake Jesus for condoning the sin of the sinners with which he spent time, and likewise you to can go out as salt and light preaching a message of truthful love and understanding. No one is converted by prideful grandstanding and vitriolous judgement.

Beat your chest before the chests of other wounded sinners, “mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!”


How God is helping me to lose weight

July 30, 2016

^ The video version for lazy readers.

I know what you’re thinking. “Why would God be needed to lose weight? Why would I pray about something so vain?” The fallacy is that losing weight is vain. It is a moral and truly justifiable self-care. I will outline for you briefly how God and my faith is and has helped me to lose weight. There are three main motivations.

  1. My body is a gift from God:
    Just as I must tend to and nourish my soul by attending mass and reading the Bible or other orthodox literary source, I must nourish my body. The ability to be healthy is a gift – one not everyone has been afforded. It is not respecting the gift God gave me, if I’m willfully allowing myself to become overweight or to develop hypertension or hyperlipidemia. Much of these conditions are within my control. I can do a lot to keep them in check.
    I must care for my soul, but not only my soul. My family, children, friends, and co-workers depend on me, and I am not being good steward of my blessings, if I do nothing to care for my health and well-being. Allowing myself to become ill will result in sick days at work, children without a caretaker, and medical bills. I cannot control all of this, but I can control a lot of it. I realized I needed to do the moral thing and help my family and myself when I could. A sound body, often has a sound mind. As my physical body improves, so does my spiritual state.
  2. My body is my gift to my spouse
    In the marital embrace, we make a very real gift of ourselves to our spouse. Our body is the actual, total gift we give to our spouse. What was I saying by giving my spouse a poorly cared for, willfully overweight, and unhealthy body? It seemed insulting to my husband, the more I pondered it. This goes both ways, not just for women. This is not to say that I need to be vain and obsessed with my weight and appearance, but that I want to care for the body God gave me and use this body to be a gift to my spouse. Bottom line: I decided I wanted to give him a good gift – one he’d be excited to receive!
  3. Extra food is food taken from those who have not
    This point will no doubt be hard for some to read, but I do not mean to indict you! I am overweight right now, as I type this, though, working toward not. Here is the premise: to maintain an overweight body, one must continue to over-nourish to one’s detriment, or you will lose weight. Weight must be maintained by steady caloric intake or our body uses it’s own stores, muscle or fat. I realized that the food I was taking in was being taken from someone who had no food. We produce enough food each year for 12 billion people. Why are there people starving, then? Some have too much, some not enough, and some is fed to livestock. I was taking what wasn’t mine and using it to hurt myself by becoming overweight. This was a hard pill to swallow, but now that I have, I can more readily accept and follow portion control. I have also begun cooking more for myself as pre-made foods are widely unhealthy.
    I am using the extra in my food budget to give to a local food bank or soup kitchen to further remind myself of the fact that the extra food I consumed was truly being taken from those who needed it. 

Aside from those three motivations, I also recommend asking for the intercession of the Angelic Doctor, Thomas Aquinas. History records him as being a pleasantly plump fellow. Surely, he can understand the plight of the overweight!

Why I don’t care if you are PC


I recently posted this on my Facebook page:
Extreme political correctness is fascism masquerading as manners. It was originally devised to silence dissenting opinions without the need to formulate an argument. It does this extremely well.

Predictably, this elicited some comments from the closest of friends, aghast at my response! They couldn’t believe I didn’t support something like being cordial or manners! I will share with you what I said. Take it with a grain of salt, if you will!

“Simply labeling everything that we don’t want to hear as hate speech is a lazy tactic. Someone doesn’t agree with me? Oh, well! It doesn’t “harm my physical safety” to have someone hold an opinion different from mine. I don’t need to scream until they are ultimately silenced like a sycophantic infant.
It is a fallacy that others are responsible for how YOU feel. We are all responsible for our own actions and emotional responses. We cannot merely be reactionary, or we aren’t more emotionally mature than my 1 year-old.
There are certainly groups who mean to spew hate and intolerance, but that isn’t what I am referencing. Holding an opinion that does not find its locus in the cultural zeitgeist, will get you labeled as someone who speaks hatred. This is simply false. Someone can have an opinion that isn’t in agreement with mine, much like yours right now, and it’s not hate speech.”

The response came, stating that political correctness and manners are intertwined, stating “I also believe that you can express those opinions in a PC, respectful manner. I don’t think being PC is about what you believe, it’s about how you express what you believe“. To this, I responded:

“I’m definitely talking about political correctness and not manners. Political correctness is the focus on the correct terminology which can change at the whim of any group, and not the decorous or indecorous nature of the address. How do we determine what is politically correct? Is what you deem the correct terms, correct, or is it what I do? Whichever you say, why? How shall we determine moving forward? This is a charge brought against many well-meaning people today.
I’m not talking about monsters who truly mean harm. I’m saying that it is ridiculous (and unfair) to vilify people for using terms when they meant no harm. What is acceptable should not be determined by an outside source. It varies culturally and colloquially, and heaven forbid something I say offends someone unintentionally. I hope they don’t crucify me, just as I will not crucify them for labeling me anything other than bi-racial or whatever designation I’m supposed to promote today.
I’ve had people in my own extended family refer to me as Oriental. Am I going to get bent out of shape and cry oppression and white-privilege because (he or she) doesn’t know that oriental describes inanimate objects and that Asian is the term for a person? Nope. Doesn’t affect me at all.
I’ve certainly been called everything from a “rice cracker” to a “mutt” to “Heinz 57”
. None of these terms came from people who meant any harm by them whatsoever, and I choose not to let it dictate my self-worth, self-esteem, and mood. No one has that much power over me.
No one is responsible for my actions or emotions but me, and I think a good number of people could do with following that attitude of personal responsibility.
Do I think it’s awful when people throw out slurs? I don’t love it, but I don’t think their lives need to be ruined for it”

My ultimate worth is drawn from being made in the image and likeness of God. As the daughter of a King, the opinions of others do not bother me! I am only concerned with the opinion of one being, and I am not above my master. They hated Him, and so they may hate me.



This Catholic Life Episode #4 Eastern Catholicism with Rosie



This Catholic Life Episode #4: Eastern Catholicism with Rosie


Episode 0004: Eastern Catholicism with Rosie of “Christmas in January
Topic: Chicken Pox; Eastern Catholicism; Married Priesthood; Abortion/Politics/Faith in the UK
Notes: Find Rosie, at her own blog: Christmas in January; the priest I reference in the show is a man who was a married deacon. His wife died, so he moved onto the priesthood. He is a joyful witness. I have a great respect for the celibate priesthood, so do not take this as a disapproval of that practice.