It’s OK if you can’t homeschool

RosalieContrite
August 29, 2017

Please be kind, and assume the best of my words. I fiercely love and care for both of my children with all of my being.

When my husband and I married, we met a vibrant and wonderful homeschool group and that has always been what we wanted for our family. I feared I wasn’t cut out for it, but we declared our plan early on in our marriage. That made my admittance that it might not be what was best for us even harder. It stunk of failure, of a lack of self-discipline. I thought, “if only I pray harder and bear my crosses better, then I will be able to do this.”

I struggled so much with what is right to do for our family and the decision of whether or not to send my five year old to a Catholic School this year over homeschool for a plethora of reasons: my health isn’t great right now, I want to get my masters, I don’t seem to be offering her enough mental engagement to keep her happy, and my two year old was really struggling. I felt like a chump who couldn’t handle being a full-throttle catholic, like I was a lesser mom. Maybe I am. *shrugs*

img_5906-1

School started last Wednesday, and ALREADY the special one-on-one time with my two year old is paying off in dividends. She was very prone to screaming and having outbursts under stress, which are normal for her age, though her older sister never had them. I chalked it all up to differences in personality and temperment. YES, I know kids are not all the same in one family. I assumed she simply had a shorter fuse. I was wrong.

Already, she has calmed down, talks more, and handles things better. Maybe its a coincidence, but I suspect that the special time together is the reason for the change. Just minutes ago, I laid her down for a nap and she blew me a kiss as I walked out the door, just as her older sister did when she was little.

 I feel so guilty that she may have felt unheard, even though we have well-spaced kids. I am even more heavily considering how soon the two year old would be ready to be de-throned as the baby. She needs this time and I won’t be talked out of giving her what she needs because people feel she’ll “be fine” or “she’ll live,” nor will I give her the short end of the stick because I simply want another baby. It won’t be popular for me to have said this, but it is the truth. Yes, we are always open to life, we follow the faith 100%, but we are also capable of planning and exercising self control, as un-fun as that may be.

Catholics are literally always thinking about when the next baby should come; it’s our hobby. (Someone would make a killing on a dice with TTA/TTC/TTW/Take a chance on it.) My oldest was three when the baby was born, and she was ready to be a big sister! She was so excited. I want that for my current baby.

13566928_938948882895101_6093118147617421069_n

My mental health is so much better now, not that I was on the verge of a mental break. I just always felt like I wasn’t doing a very good job, even when others assured me I was. I constantly felt like I was going to cry any moment because I couldn’t manage all the tasks I needed to be managing with my sweet kindergartener underfoot. I don’t feel mentally out of breath. My oldest comes home tired, happy, and simply wanting to snuggle or talk about her day. She’s had her mind engaged, prayed, played with friends and I am much more patient and relaxed having gotten my day’s work finished. She and her sister are not jealous of each other now, but excited to see one another because they did not spend all day competing for attention.

I feel so right about this choice for our family right now, and want to tell other homeschool mommies, homeschool is wonderful and a gift but it’s OK if you can’t do it. It’s OK if it doesn’t work for your family. Don’t force something because of what others think or because you’re afraid of the effect of the world on your children. Both options are OK, and what is right for one kid may not be for another. I know that now. We may return to homeschool again one day if it is what’s best for our family, but rather than focusing on raising them a certain way, I will only be looking to do what is best whatever that may be.

It still bothers me that I can’t be the graceful, homeschool mother of nine that I envisioned before kids and marriage, but I think it’s a lesson from God. Even the image that LOOKS holy to you, that might not be where he’s calling you. You have to pay attention more and talk less.

13690809_949065635216759_6623710608766788454_n

R O S A L I E    C O N T R I T E
cropped-img_0278-e1460062106193.jpg

Are you condemning evil or contributing to it?

img_0530


We MUST speak out against clear evil. We always must, even if it upsets people and even when no one wants to hear it; however, we must resist another related evil.
We must resist the evil that is seeing ourselves as holy and upright because we boldly and bravely condemn evil.

We must not fall prey to the temptation to be cruel and malign other sinners simply because we are not guilty of the sin they commit. We must not give in to the temptation to purposefully be offensive because we believe anti-political correctness a virtue. Rudeness is not of God. His followers are meek and kind, full of grace.

Do not accept the truth in such a way that it allows Satan to sit between your heart and the truth, distorting the message turning you bitter, hateful, and arrogant. Satan doesn’t fear you having the truth. He fears you disseminating it with charity and compassion, for who would be turned from that truth?

Yes, we must have compassion. Compassion is not “being nice” or “not being offensive” but to suffer with someone. It is co-suffering. You cannot suffer with someone whom you do not know or with whom you have not spent any time. You cannot co-suffer with someone whom you are busy wounding.

The Pharisee did not mistake Jesus for condoning the sin of the sinners with which he spent time, and likewise you to can go out as salt and light preaching a message of truthful love and understanding. No one is converted by prideful grandstanding and vitriolous judgement.

Beat your chest before the chests of other wounded sinners, “mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!”

img_0278

Top 3 Myths Christians/Catholics Wish You’d Stop Believing

RosalieContrite
October 18, 2016

Myth#1: We hate science. For some Christian denominations, I have no doubt there exists a hatred of science, but for many mainstream groups, including the Catholic Church, science is beloved.
The Big Bang Theory was hypothesized by a Catholic priest. The father of modern genetics, Gregor Mendel, was an Augustinian monk. The first doctor of computer sciences was a Catholic nun. Louis Pasteur, who laid the ground work for vaccines, was a devout Catholic dedicating his life’s work to the mother of Jesus. Heisenberg, the Nobel Laureate in physics, can be quoted saying, “The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you.” I can’t speak for all denominations, as I am Catholic, but I can tell you, some Christian denominations embrace science.

67a

Myth #2: Christians are homophobic. Again, I cannot speak for all Christian denominations, but from a common Christian and Catholic perspective. For Christians, sex has a function and there is natural law.  The fundamental purposes of the sexual union are bonding and babies.
Those are the recognized purposes. One cannot be divorced from the other, though taking advantage of infertile periods is lauded as responsible when having more children is not prudent. For this reason, they do not recognize naturally sterile sexual acts to be moral.  Believing an action to be immoral does not justify cruelty toward those who identify as gay. On the contrary, they are to be loved and respected.
Somewhere along the line, popular culture and media became confused about hatred and intolerance, believing any disagreement to be an issue of bigotry.
Fortunately, this is not a factual assertion. If it were, the logical conclusion would be devastating.  It would be to say every parent disapproving of their child’s actions would be guilty of bigotry or hatred. Obviously, this isn’t true, because humans can disagree or disapprove of something without hating or maligning one another. The real intolerance and hatred would be to say we must stomp out anyone who does not believe as I believe, which is happening to Christians, today.
This is not to say there are no Christians who have acted with hatred and intolerance, which must be condemned.  For their actions, I wish to offer a heartfelt apology that will fall laughably short of the penitence you are owed. No evil should ever be enacted toward another. By the very action, they have not behaved as a Christian. We MUST love one another, love being a verb.
love-06

Myth #3: Christians only hate abortion because of the Bible. There are references in the Bible to humanity and personhood, as is the en vogue distinguishing feature; however, for most Christians/Catholics, the objection is NOT dependent upon the Bible.
I have often said, “If I became an atheist again, tomorrow, I would stay pro-life.” Embryology and other sciences have shown a distinct other exists at the moment of conception, possessing it’s own DNA. As that DNA is human, it logically follows that the life in that entity would be human.

“Although life is a continuous process, fertilization… is a critical landmark because, under ordinary circumstances, a new genetically distinct human organism is formed when the chromosomes of the male and female pronuclei blend in the oocyte.

Ronan O’Rahilly and Fabiola Miller, Human Embryology and Teratology, 3rd edition. New York: Wiley-Liss, 2001. p. 8.

Surely, we can disagree about what this fact means, but do not assume I believe something simply “because the Bible says it.” To do so would be erroneous, an untruth. The Bible being in agreement with embryology certainly spoke to the truth of Christianity for me, but the Bible is not a stand alone reason.

6 weeks after conception.
Six weeks after conception.

img_0278

This Catholic Life #14: WYD, Ad Orientem, & Feminism

RosalieContrite
July 25, 2016
ThisCatholicLife

ThisCatholicLife

I discuss, with Anna and John Palos, the topics of WYD, Ad Orientem, and Feminism. Please send feedback to RosalieContrite@breadboxmedia.com.

cropped-RosalieContriteLogoGraphic.jpg

Episode #11: Special Guest Devin Rose

ThisCatholicLife

ThisCatholicLife

Devin Rose joins me on the show!

10449931_10153749345953077_104684484570491640_n
He is the author of The Protestant’s Dilemma and Navigating the Tiber, both published by Catholic Answers. You can find them at Catholic Answers, Amazon, and your local Catholic book store!
We discuss his books, evangelizing to protestants and atheists, talking about the faith with family, and more!

The Rosalie Contrite YouTube Channel has been launched and will, hopefully, grow and improve!

NEXT WEEK: Haley Stewart of Carrots for Michaelmas

img_0278