If the Biblical characters had FB…

RosalieContrite
March 27, 2016

Sometimes, I wish that the Biblical characters had had Facebook and/or Twitter. Would they have been guilty of “vague-booking” “Facebook creeping” or airing out their dirty laundry? Who can say? It’s fun to imagine!

There exists another post containing the Bible tweets: If the Biblical characters had had Twitter

Pax Vobiscum,
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Bible Facebooking by Rosalie Contrite

ElishaFB

AbrahamFB

KingDaveFB

CanaanFB

MagdaleneFB

ZipporahFB

ArimitheaFB

JonahFB

IsmaelFB

LotFB

Easy way to Mix-up the Friday Fish & Chips

RosalieContrite
March 24, 2016
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Fish Friday’s with the basic fish and chips get boring as Lent goes on, and even more so, for our family. As per Canon Law 1249-51, we abstain from meat on Fridays all year. You could substitute another penitential act on Fridays throughout the year, but I like to keep it easy to remember! We do it together, and I feel we keep one another more accountable to keeping Fridays penitential, always.

In order to mix-up the basic fish and chips dish, I love to do sweet potato fries and homemade bread!  It’s a slight twist that makes life a little more interesting!

Cut up a few sweet potatoes into fry strips. I leave the skin on the potatoes, but you do you. I love adding these to meals. They are so colorful. I’m a weird broad. 🙂

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Watch those fingers! Place the strips into a ziploc baggie with some olive oil and paprika….I don’t measure. I just dump! SHAKE!

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Pour the shaken mix onto a foil wrapped pan, for ease of cleaning! Top with more paprika if you like!

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Throw in the oven for about 45ish minutes @ 425F. At around the 30 minute mark, I pull them out and flip/shuffle them about to cook all sides and replace in the oven, until done. The kids LOVE these, and they are soft enough for littles just learning to eat! No added sugar, but it definitely, hits that sweet craving, for me!

BONUS:

In order to incorporate facts about Easter into the kids’ minds, we are, also, making an artisan bread loaf today! We do many Easter activities, but this one is so punny, it’s a #dadjoke! Get it? Bread rises! #TeamJesus

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Hope you have a great Easter and fruitful Good Friday.

#triduum #easter #goodfriday #jesus

Pax Vobiscum,

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Bible Verses Everyone Likes to Forget

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Quoting the bible out of context, is a serious problem. This picture below demonstrates this quite well. Certain sects of Christianity, and even secular media, are notorious for ignoring the parts of the Bible, they do not wish to accept. I will outline a few very much ignored verses, by Christians as a whole, secular media, and even, Catholics, specifically. If you haven’t been ignoring them, have a nice pat on the back! 🙂

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Spoiler Alert: This is quoting the Devil.
        1. Matthew 10:34: Jesus did not come so that we might hold hands and live in harmony, in a flower-child, Woodstock type nightmare. His message was hard to accept, and it would/will create tension in our relationships. We shouldn’t necessarily fight, but following Him is not guarantee of peace. Standing up for what is right and true might even bring up disagreement among family members. Jesus was clear. Choose Him. Always. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
          34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
        2. Matthew 21:12-13 Jesus was not this super passive, push over. He did not like His Father being disrespected, and He did not hesitate to demonstrate His feelings. When someone asks what Jesus would have done, flipping tables is not out of the realm of possibility. “Then Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who were selling and buying in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. 13 He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer’; but you are making it a den of robbers.”
        3. Matthew 5:23-24 Many people are quite comfortable scoffing at others, and wronging, even their family members, but then approaching the Lord as if they are blameless. God has been clear. Make amends, ask forgiveness, and have mercy, yourself! He wants you to accept responsibility and to be moral with those you have wronged, even more than outright worshiping Him! 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
        4. John 13:16 Many seem to believe that if they are in the friendship of the Lord, they will not be persecuted, and they will not encounter hardship. Ask yourself, did Jesus have an easy time? What must crucifixion have been like? And, are you above the master? 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.
        5. Matthew 9:13 More than the Lord wants your tithes, your sacrifices, your prayers of thanksgiving, He wants you to have mercy on others. Think of the person you are angry with, the most. Now, realize the Lord wants you to forgive that person, so that He can forgive you. 13 Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”
        6. Acts 7:54-60 Stephen had been a disciple of the Lord. He knew Him, truly! He loved and honored Him. Where did that get Stephen? The Lord does not promise to save you from everything bad, uncomfortable, or unwanted in your life. That is not the true faith. He does promise to suffer with us! You are never alone. Saint Stephen, pray for us! 54 Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth against him. 55 But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; 56 and he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing at the right hand of God.” 57 But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together upon him. 58 Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him; and the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 And as they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 And he knelt down and cried with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.”
        7. 1 Corinthians 12:14 It has become very popular to say “I don’t need church (the church Christ founded). My relationship is between Jesus and myself. It’s just about the relationship.” The early Christians were clear. We are united as body parts, in one body. Just as damage to one body part effects others, so too, do other Christians effect us. If that doesn’t make us necessary to one another and important to one another’s relationship with Christ, I don’t think anything will. 14 “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many , are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body…”
        8. Acts 4:29-31 Some people believe that we should pray for an end to the persecution of Christians, which would be very nice (and I’m still praying for it), but here we see them asking for something else, entirely. Freedom from persecution isn’t what the disciples pray for from the Lord. They want, and pray for BOLDNESS. They want the boldness to speak the truth in the face of persecution and under the threat of consequence, which we are not promised to be protected from, by the Lord. Consider this. Faith is personal, but it can never be private. Moral courage is a great grace. 29 And now, Lord, look upon their threats, and grant to thy servants to speak thy word with all boldness, 30 while thou stretchest out thy hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of thy holy servant Jesus.” 31 And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness.
        9. Matthew 24:36-44 This should be enough reason to never again listen to a crack pot claiming to have the deets on the end of the world. Why are these people everywhere, when the Bible is so clear on this topic? God wants us to be watchful and always ready expressly because we cannot know when the world will be over or when He is coming. Be watchful, be ready, and don’t worry! 36 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son,[d] but the Father only. 37 As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of man. 38 For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, 39 and they did not know until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of man. 40 Then two men will be in the field; one is taken and one is left. 41 Two women will be grinding at the mill; one is taken and one is left. 42 Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. 43 But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
        10. Romans 1:18-32 Many people argue, “What I am doing does not feel wrong to me.” This verse makes it clear that God will let people be, if they do not wish to be in His fold. They will no longer be able to discern right from wrong easily, outside of the friendship of God. He outlines what this immoral and lusty man or woman will look like. Eerily enough, it’s quite reminiscent of where the culture has gone and is headed. Free will can be very good and very, very bad. “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of men who by their wickedness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse; 21 for although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking and their senseless minds were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man or birds or animals or reptiles.

          24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever! Amen.

          26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

          28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a base mind and to improper conduct. 29 They were filled with all manner of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity, they are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them but approve those who practice them.”

Pax Vobiscum,

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Dear Husband on our Wedding Anniversary 

RosalieContrite
March 19, 2016
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In the excitement and the emotion of our wedding day, I thought I knew everything that it meant to say that I love you. In my naivete, I thought I knew that I could not love a man more.

I looked at you, wanting to spend my entire life with you, but even then, I had yet to understand authentic love.

On that day, I would have sworn that I would lay down my life for you, that I could not desire to give more of myself. That was true.

Still, on that day, the fullest expression of my love was not realized. For my own sake, I wish to recount the kind of love I have realized for you. I would still lay down my life for you, but to say this, is easy. As they say, ‘Talk is cheap’. Now, I understand that the character of real love is enduring, rather than exciting.

It is not an emotion, and it is not a feeling. Love is choosing to bear all that another person is in the face of adversity and flaws, and doing it with joy.

When inevitable minor or major troubles come to our marriage, I want to face the rocky terrain with you because life could only be worse without you.

I want to offer you my whole self in a love so tangible that it becomes physical realities that require names. As time goes, I can only offer you a much older, less attractive and desirable me, but I will always give you everything that I am.

When the craze and the excitement of young love recedes, I just want to hold your hand and rest my head on your chest, while we fall asleep.

I want to bring you a kind of lifelong happiness which will slowly become embodied in the laugh lines behind your beautiful, dark eyes.

I want to lock arms with you while we walk, as I assure you that you are every bit as handsome as the day we met because, to me, you are.

I want to watch your beautiful black curls fade into silver, as the years behind us become greater than the years before us.

If our knees, no longer spry, hurt too much to do all the things we once did, I want to sit with you and keep you company, because there is no where else I would rather be.

And, if one day, your mind fails you, I hope you will still recognize my unwavering and steadfast love, even if you cannot recognize my face, because I will still be there giving you everything that I am, and accepting everything that is you.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

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25 comebacks to family size comments

It never fails. A complete stranger will come up and the first question they ask you is about your sex life. The world is full of “creepy todds”…

They ask if you are done, if you know where babies come from, and if you are getting sterilized now. They ask anything and everything they want, because you are now in the subhuman class of people who decided to welcome children freely from God! Shame on you!

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To make it a little easier to endure, I give you a list of my favorite (snarky and best left unsaid) comebacks to questions about family size. Use them at your own risk!

1. Congratulations! You are the 10th person to say something about the kids today! Please accept this free baby on our behalf!

2. Yes, we know where babies come from now and we won’t be drinking the municipal water, ANYMORE!

3. What do you mean am I done? They are so fun! Are your children not awesome?

4. Shhh…they aren’t really all mine. I have a rare form of kleptomania which causes me to snatch children.

5. We keep saying we are going to stop, but my husband/wife is just so attractive, THAT JINXY MINX!

6. Well, they are all MINE, but my husband is only the father of about half of them…shhh!

7. No, I don’t know where they come from, and it’s been making me crazy! Do you have time to explain it to me?

8. Fixed? Why? I’m not broken like your head seems to be….

9. Well, I really want a reality show, and my husband loves free child labor, so I think we will keep going!

10. Did you seriously just ask me about my sex life? I have mace.

11. If you worried as much about (insert neglected interest of conversant ie. school) as you do my family size, you would have (insert extreme achievement such as attending Yale), by now. (Best for the nonstop, repeat commenter! Don’t throw down this kind of snark to the innocent first timer!)

12. Jesus said “let the children come to me”.

13. Got to keep my government benefits coming somehow!

14. We value family and God’s will over money, so probably…

15. Some people have all the luck!

16. I have found favor with the Lord, amiright?!

17. They aren’t really mine, I just enjoy taking a ton of kids to the grocery store for fun! It’s the latest Olympic sport, and I am going to qualify this year.

18. Are you kidding? Do you see how perfect I am? There simply MUST be more of me!

19. Why? Do you want to buy one? We’re having a buy one, get one half off sale!

20. Got to keep the man tied down somehow!

21. Well, if I stop, my husband might make me get a job!

22. Shh! I’m building an evil empire!

23. I have a bad habit of misplacing them, so I wanted to have spares.

24. Yes, I order them off of Amazon during their Black Friday sale!

25. What? I don’t know who these people are! Security! CALL SECURITY!!!

Please post your favorite lines in the comments 😀 (Yes, I know I’m snarky…I had a baby keeping me up all night! 😉
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